Saturday, June 9, 2007

Starting a New Life After Divorce

Faye B. Roberts

It can be difficult to think about, let alone start a new life after divorce. Whether you were married for several years, or even for just a few months, the emotional trauma you may feel after the papers are signed can affect other aspects of your life as well. Many people feel an emotional barrier after a divorce,but there are ways to overcome these barriers you feel, especially when children are involved. Trying to grow accustomed to having joint physical custody or living under a specific property settlement will no doubt cause you to experience a number of drastic changes. Yet, divorce does not mean the end of life itself, and many individuals do move on and make a new life for themselves and their children. There are ways of overcoming the emotional barriers you feel, especially when children are involved.

Starting a new life with new relationships after divorce is an intimidating process for many people. The ending of your marriage may leave you feeling somewhat vulnerable and inadequate. It can also be extremely difficult for you to suddenly switch from loving someone to feeling either hatred or indifference towards that person. How you cope with life after divorce can also depend on what role you played in the breakup. If you left your spouse, you may feel a sense of control over the situation because the decision was yours but if your spouse left you, feelings of desertion or betrayal may arise. To help overcome these emotions, it is suggested to take time for yourself and focus on things that make you happy. This may require you to reflect back on the marriage to see what your role was in the relationship and answer some difficult questions - did you feel like the marriage was missing something important? - did you often give more emotionally than you received? - did you feel betrayed? Answers to questions of this nature will allow you to come to grips with why the marriage failed and by stepping back and taking some time, you allow emotional wounds to heal before starting a new relationship. Learning about what makes you happy and what your emotional needs are will help you make better decisions about who you choose to open your life to.

Property agreements, custody issues and feelings of desertion can make starting a new life after divorce very difficult. It is necessary to overcome your vulnerable state and the desire to isolate yourself from the rest of the world after your divorce is final. Giving in to negative behaviors will only worsen you chances of finding happiness again. Focusing on your needs and the needs of your children when coping with a divorce is a good place to start. Only after looking at life differently you will find ways to make positive changes.
Faye B. Roberts is an independent researcher who has gone through a divorce and has suffered the effects it has on the entire family. Find out how to start enjoying your life again, and allow your children to do the same. The book Divorce and the Family offers simple solutions to a complex problem.
For more info on divorce visit:Divorce and your Family
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